Author Archives: rebootinggames

This last year has been one of ups and downs. I’m still very much in recovery, and will be for some time to come. Something I’m verbalising a bit more these days, at the urging of my psych (he thinks I internalise too much), is just how bad things got when I eventually got hospitalisedContinue reading “2024.”

Welcome to your irregularly scheduled 2am void-screaming, brought to you by the fact that crying in my CPAP mask is counter-productive to getting a good seal and my brain going round in circles makes it hard to sleep. People have been telling me a lot, these last eighteen months, that I’ve made a good decision,Continue reading “When choice isn’t a choice and existing is a job”

Popping back in after a six month absence, as I do. It’s been nearly seven months since the surgery. I had my six month check-in with the clinic recently; my test results came back fairly positively, with a few not unexpected exceptions. My vitamin d levels are low, surprising nobody; I’ve had chronically low vitaminContinue reading “The Good, the Bad, and the Sonewhat Ambiguous and Perplexing”

It’s been a bit over a year since I emailed my endocrinologist to tell her I genuinely thought I was dying, triggering a month-long hospital stay under slightly false pretences (hospital paperwork requires you to be admitted for a reason, and doesn’t accept “extreme malaise of unknown cause”, so my endo put down “fluid management”Continue reading “Reflections”

So, a while back I was diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder. C-PTSD is a category of PTSD that tends to develop due to prolonged or repeated exposures to the traumatising events or situations, often situations that are perceived as inescapable or unavoidable, and, along with the “classic” symptoms of PTSD, presents with emotional dysregulation,Continue reading “Trauma and medicine and the intersections thereof.”

So this is where we are. When I was admitted to hospital at the start of September, I was severely unwell. I’m not sure who realised how bad things had got, because I’m good at talking about some things but very good at not talking about other things, and I had reached the point whereContinue reading “So about that hospital thing.”

In the wake of a truly bad Netflix adaptation of my favourite Austen novel, I have been having thoughts about adaptations, and I suppose they are a better use of my 4am can’t sleep energy than doom scrolling and screaming chaotically into the void, so here we go. Now, I’m not what we’d call aContinue reading “Not about health at all!”

Medication is a wonderful thing. It is also a right royal pain in my bum. It is, at time of writing, 6:30am and I have not slept, because I have steroidsomnia. You see, cortisol can cause insomnia. My regular dose is fairly high, and I have to take an evening dose to avoid an adrenalContinue reading “Pick your poison! Also a rant about trying to police “fakers”.”

So it’s been a month and change since the POTS diagnosis and the new meds and my word, it feels like a game changer. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a magic fix and things aren’t suddenly drastically better, but at the same time… things are sort of drastically better? The main reason we wereContinue reading “Optimism about my cookware”

I had a post about food issues, but WordPress eated it. (Are cat macros cool again?) Anyway, it was depressing and I don’t want to rewrite it. Suffice it to say I have complicated food issues going all the way back to my diabetes diagnosis. Today’s 3am ruminations: it’s weird how much a diagnosis canContinue reading “Four-letter words”